Blah!
I haven’t written in a while. J and I went to a out of town wedding, and then moved and it’s been tiring to do anything much lately. I think I’m coming down with a cold, yuck.
I hate whoever decided it’d be a good idea to have J and his fellow pilots fly out of the other side of the state for the holiday season. He has to live there during the week out of a hotel room because the start times are so early, and the return times are so late, that he’d get no sleep if he flew home every day. So, I get to see him only on the weekends until the 24th.
It’s been crappy.
I think it would’ve been a bit better to deal with had we not just moved. Here there are no memories or presence to make it feel like “home.” At least when he was gone for a while at the old place it was still “ours” and felt like our home. Here, it just feels kind of like a rented vacation place. Not really comfortable (yet), no memories, all our stuff is here but it’s not _home_ or familiar, and having him gone makes it even less so. I don’t know how to explain it. I tried to explain it to J last weekend, but he didn’t understand. He thought I hated the place, and didn’t see how it would make my loneliness worse to be in a new apartment. Maybe it shouldn’t, but it still feels just empty. Empty of him, us, memories, life.
I miss him. 