Comments on: depression http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/ Just another Flyblog.com weblog Sat, 22 Nov 2008 20:21:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.1 By: devin http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-841 devin Fri, 14 Nov 2008 02:57:07 +0000 http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-841 No matter that it's a year later. :) Thank you for commenting. I have gotten better at taking care of myself, but I'm also looking at counselors that can fit my schedule. No matter that it’s a year later. :) Thank you for commenting. I have gotten better at taking care of myself, but I’m also looking at counselors that can fit my schedule.

]]> By: joan http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-840 joan Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:24:25 +0000 http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-840 This is about a year late, but I have been with my pilot husband for 18 years. He's a corporate pilot and has been away for as long as 3 weeks at a time. There are also the times when he leaves for a week only to return 30 minutes later because the client canceled the flight. My advice is to do your best to cope a concentrate on taking care of yourself via counseling. You are strong and counseling will help steer you in the right direction for a relationship that can have little routine. This is about a year late, but I have been with my pilot husband for 18 years. He’s a corporate pilot and has been away for as long as 3 weeks at a time. There are also the times when he leaves for a week only to return 30 minutes later because the client canceled the flight.
My advice is to do your best to cope a concentrate on taking care of yourself via counseling. You are strong and counseling will help steer you in the right direction for a relationship that can have little routine.

]]> By: devin http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-6 devin Wed, 19 Dec 2007 02:14:20 +0000 http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-6 Thank you for your comment. My pilot sounds like yours! I've always felt pilots tend to be pretty selfish, too, but I know he wants to take care of me and he cares how I feel. He just doesn't understand how to show his feelings, or to support me I the ways I need. Thanks for the support! Thank you for your comment. My pilot sounds like yours! I’ve always felt pilots tend to be pretty selfish, too, but I know he wants to take care of me and he cares how I feel. He just doesn’t understand how to show his feelings, or to support me I the ways I need.

Thanks for the support!

]]> By: Partner of a Pilot http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-5 Partner of a Pilot Sun, 16 Dec 2007 17:35:32 +0000 http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-5 Hi, I have sometimes felt this way too, and think that you are very brave to openly write about your feelings. I do believe that pilots tend to be naturally selfish. They have to be in order to achieve their goals against the odds. I also believe that because they are very intelligent people, they are more than capable of understanding how this self indulgant streak impacts on others. Although it has taken me a long time, I finally seem to have conveyed this to him in a way which has made him re-think his behaviour. I really hope that you find the right way to communicate with him. For me, it was to be pragmatic, and logical to the extreme, because that is the way that my man thinks. My previously emotional appeals to him fell on deaf ears, because he simply couldn't relate to it. At least after the festive season, you'll regain some of your normality back. I cant wait for Christmas to be well and truly over this year. Hi,

I have sometimes felt this way too, and think that you are very brave to openly write about your feelings.

I do believe that pilots tend to be naturally selfish. They have to be in order to achieve their goals against the odds. I also believe that because they are very intelligent people, they are more than capable of understanding how this self indulgant streak impacts on others. Although it has taken me a long time, I finally seem to have conveyed this to him in a way which has made him re-think his behaviour.

I really hope that you find the right way to communicate with him. For me, it was to be pragmatic, and logical to the extreme, because that is the way that my man thinks. My previously emotional appeals to him fell on deaf ears, because he simply couldn’t relate to it.

At least after the festive season, you’ll regain some of your normality back. I cant wait for Christmas to be well and truly over this year.

]]> By: devin http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-4 devin Thu, 13 Dec 2007 15:18:35 +0000 http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-4 He's been doing this job since september, so it's been a couple months already. The only thing different is that he is living out of a hotel on the other side of the state for the thanskgiving to christmas rush, and he just comes home for the weekends. It's not the routine that we had gotten used to already, and it's only temporary. The way his job is, he does nothing all afternoon but watch tv, and goes back to the hotel at night and does the same thing. He has a fair bit of time on his hands, and it would be nice if he at least put some effort into us. He’s been doing this job since september, so it’s been a couple months already. The only thing different is that he is living out of a hotel on the other side of the state for the thanskgiving to christmas rush, and he just comes home for the weekends. It’s not the routine that we had gotten used to already, and it’s only temporary. The way his job is, he does nothing all afternoon but watch tv, and goes back to the hotel at night and does the same thing. He has a fair bit of time on his hands, and it would be nice if he at least put some effort into us.

]]> By: Someday http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-3 Someday Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:52:39 +0000 http://devin.flyblog.com/2007/12/12/depression/#comment-3 Relax. It's too early in this new job to make too many demands. If he's trying to get used to a new plane, a new company, a new schedule or anything else new, it's going to take time for him to adjust. You are adjusting to a new routine too. Let him focus his brainpower on this for a while longer and then when it becomes more routine, he'll be able to shift more attention back to you. He needs this time to get things figured out- if he makes a mistake in the plane b/c his mind was elsewhere, the consequences could be terrible. Wait until the 2 month mark and then bring it up again if he still isn't giving you what you need. Make a list of things he could do for you (send a postcard from an overnight?) so that there are some concrete things he can do. Program reminders to do those things into his cell phone if he's OK with that. Every relationship has it's ups and downs. Relax. It’s too early in this new job to make too many demands. If he’s trying to get used to a new plane, a new company, a new schedule or anything else new, it’s going to take time for him to adjust. You are adjusting to a new routine too. Let him focus his brainpower on this for a while longer and then when it becomes more routine, he’ll be able to shift more attention back to you. He needs this time to get things figured out- if he makes a mistake in the plane b/c his mind was elsewhere, the consequences could be terrible.
Wait until the 2 month mark and then bring it up again if he still isn’t giving you what you need. Make a list of things he could do for you (send a postcard from an overnight?) so that there are some concrete things he can do. Program reminders to do those things into his cell phone if he’s OK with that.
Every relationship has it’s ups and downs.

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